Maddie Gets Married: Planning to Pivot

It simultaneously feels like years and merely days since I last updated you all on our September wedding plans. 

Let me preface this by saying there is no one right way to do this. How you handle either executing your wedding this year, postponing to a later date, or a hybrid of the two, all comes down to you and your fiancé’s priorities and comfort levels. 

I’ve chatted with friends who are in the same boat and am obviously familiar with our own clients’ plans forward, and let me tell you, not one of them is the same as the other. What has struck me, though, of each couples’ approach in handling this situation is that they’ve made this incredibly difficult decision together. Having to consider the opinions of family and friends in a normal wedding planning process is already difficult. Throw in a global pandemic, and things really get interesting! 

But each of these couples have had to decide what is most important to them. We know that, especially amidst all that is going on, having our health, our families, and each other is all that matters. But there is nothing wrong with still wanting the wedding you always dreamed of or being sad that it may not look exactly like you’d planned. And if you needed permission to feel this way, know that I’m right there with you!

But, alas, things haven’t returned to normal like we’d hoped and a decision still has to be made. 

Like I mentioned in my last update, the most important decision to make when navigating the impacts of the pandemic on your wedding day is whether or not you want to be married in this calendar year. For Nate and I, the answer to that is still a resounding “yes!”. 

In May, we decided that regardless of gathering size restrictions, we wanted to move forward with as much of the originally planned wedding as possible, even if it meant doing so with a smaller group of family and friends. What we hadn’t mentally and emotionally prepared for were the required safety measures necessary to execute an event of any size. 

While we are thrilled that wedding venues, vendors, and friends are able to reopen and operate under this new, albeit ever-changing, normal, prioritizing guest and staff health and safety, we ultimately decided that what we want for our wedding day is to be able to love on (and dance with!) all of our people and do so without the concern of health risks, and that just wouldn’t be possible this September. 

Having made that decision, our first call was to our venue for next years’ availability. Though Saturday dates were booked, there were still a few Fridays on the table in April and July. And while I was tempted to pick the April date (the weekend before my 30th!!) we’ve seen so many, friends included, now at the point where they’re postponing twice, and decided to go with July, hoping and praying we’re all on the other side of this by then! 

The next step in this process was the hardest for me. We knew we wanted to be married on our original date but also knew a postponed wedding or reception was set for next year. So, what does that look like? Do we have a ceremony with just immediate families this year and a full wedding, bridal party and all, next? Do we have a ceremony this year and delayed reception only come July? Do I wear my wedding dress twice? So much to consider, the FOMO in me was off. the. charts. My biggest worry was to get to either day and feel like I made the wrong decision and, as my dad would say, end up with “two half-you know what days”. 

So, I cried, and I prayed, and I talked with Nate and our families, and I watched about every wedding movie known to man and cried some more. And this is what we decided. 

We want our wedding day to feel like our wedding day. To walk down the aisle in July and do the whole process over again after having been married for almost a year, just didn’t feel right to us. Again, this is an incredibly personal decision and reflects only how we feel about it. For us, this means the full ceremony, bridal party and families included. 

My incredible RRE team will design and execute the ceremony at Merrimon-Wynne (the Merrimon-Wynne team has graciously allowed us to use their venue on both dates!), and my family will host a small private dinner at my parents’ home following the ceremony. 

We will share toasts, cake, and first dances this year and have decided that next years’ celebrations will include a blessing of our marriage vows in front of all of our family and friends, and more cake, first dances, and even more dancing, because who doesn’t love that?! As I’ve heard from more than one friend or two, “If anyone could pull off two parties for their wedding, it’s you!” So, that’s how we’re choosing to look at it - celebrating our marriage twice!

I’ll share more details on how we’re executing a safe ceremony during this time in next week’s post! 

XO,

Maddie