How We're Moving forward with Plans for a September 2020 Wedding Date during COVID-19

May 29

I have dreamed of my wedding for more years than I care to admit. While the styles, even location, of those dreams have changed over the years, what I hoped for that day never did: to be married to the man of my dreams, surrounded by our family and loved ones, to toast to the beginning of our marriage with champagne, good food, and heartfelt sentiments, and to dance the night away to great music with even better friends.

I’ll admit, the past few months have been nothing less than an emotional roller coaster – huge shout out to Nate for handling my emotions so well and staying grounded during the entire process. Nate and I have considered all sorts of possibilities for our big day, from our immediate family only to a smaller guest count to the whole shebang. Having written my last post on this matter over two months ago, I would have hoped to know more at this point, but it’s clear we are all still taking this day by day. I am by no means in a position to make general assumptions on the situation at hand or attempt to see into the future, so my only choice is to make plans with what we know now.

So, this is how we are handling it:

If you didn’t read Betsy‘s last blog post on rescheduling your wedding due to COVID-19, stop what you’re doing and go read it now. The best piece of advice she gives is to first decide whether or not you and your fiancé still want to be married in this calendar year. Though Nate and I haven’t been together for terribly long, we have known each other going on 18 years and have waited our fair share for this day to finally come. With that, we know for certain we do not want to delay our ceremony. We want to be married and are thrilled to start our lives together as husband and wife.

As for the rest of the celebration, we have decided to move forward with our planning as-is, fully prepared to pivot if and when necessary. There are multiple factors that played into making that decision, but our venue availability was certainly one of them. It is no surprise that there are many, many weddings that have already been postponed within the past few months as we deal with the ramifications of this pandemic. Venues, and all other wedding vendors for that matter, are handling those postponements in the best way possible for the good of their clients and health of their business. Our venue happens to book out anywhere between 12 and 18 months in advance (let us all remember my confession that I booked our venue before Nate and I even got engaged!). Given their already tight calendar and current handling of rescheduled events, it is highly unlikely we would be able to secure our venue at a later weekend date in 2021 for a delayed reception. And unless we’re unable to host a reception at all on our original date, Nate and I weren’t too keen on postponing to a mid-week date.

When weighing options together with Betsy, it was her greatest concern to alleviate the continued emotional roller coaster for us both during this process, as we navigate the changing government mandates and executive orders. Given my FOMO tendencies, what that looked like for me was to understand all of our options - i.e. how many guests we could anticipate having per gathering size limitation, understanding our venue’s policy, and knowing how Nate and our families felt about those options. For others, that may look more like making the decision now to postpone and reschedule for later in 2021, or wait to set a new date entirely until things have been resolved. As long as you your fiancé and those involved with your wedding planning process are in agreement, you’re abiding by the existing governmental guidelines in place, and doing your best to preserve and protect the health and well-being of yourselves, your guests, and your vendors, that’s really all you can do.

Betsy, Becca, and the team have been instrumental in moving forward with our plans as-is - communicating with our vendors, preparing to adjust design plans based on gathering size and social distancing requirements, the list goes on.

A few key things to note when planning a wedding without knowing what parameters will be in place come that date:

We’ve decided to hold on signing certain rental agreements until we get closer to the date of the event and are prepared to be flexible with those that are currently signed, as well as with deposits that have already been paid. Betsy’s already spoken with vendors who have agreed to be flexible, as well, which is such a blessing! Clear and open lines of communication go a long way!
We will need to send out formal invitations July 11 (8 weeks prior to our wedding date) and will make a call on guest count with the information and guidelines in place at that time. We have decided, however, to print all invitations (done in mid-June) in the event we are able to send additional invitations after our first wave - either in lieu of increased gathering size allowances or declined RSVPs due to health and travel-related concerns.

*It is our greatest joy to celebrate this day with all of our family and loved ones who are able to attend, but it is also our greatest hope that each of those individuals feel fully confident in attending, if they choose to do so.

Full disclosure, there is still one key element we are still working through - our absolute lowest gathering size limitation we are willing to move forward with before choosing to postpone the reception. Forewarning to anyone in the same boat, with immediate family and bridal party alone, this gets tricky and numbers add up fast! This decision will be made within the week, so Betsy can communicate that information to all vendors. Not only is it best for us to be prepared, it’s so incredibly helpful to our vendor team to know what to anticipate, as well!
Most importantly, be prepared to pivot! While we can do our best to make plans within current guidelines, everything could change in an instant, even up to the weekend of our wedding. So, the sooner you come to terms with that possibility, the better!

Nate and my family have remained my positive force during these past few months, and despite their best efforts, I’ve still cried and worried, however premature that may be, and that’s okay. No one knows what September will look like, and we’re all doing the best we can. Thankfully, I’ve been able to glean inspiration from numerous intimate wedding galleries to lift my spirits, should we have a smaller than normal guest count, and there truly is something so special about that sort of celebration. As I read the other day, “Count your blessings, not your guest count.”

In the spirit of continuing with our existing plans, the next order of business is our menu tasting with Rocky Top Catering, sure to be Nate’s favorite part of the planning process. Of course, as things change and we know more, we will keep you all up to date. I am so grateful for the love and sweet messages I’ve received from my family, friends and team thinking of me during this time and that same love goes back out to all of my other 2020 brides currently navigating this situation. I feel ya, girl!

XO,

Maddie

Want to read more of the Maddie Gets Married Series? Follow along:

Week 1: The Proposal

Week 2: Engaged, Now What?

Week 3: Preparing for Our Creative Session

Week 4: My Biggest Takeaway from Our Creative Session

Week 5: Why We Chose Our Photographer

Week 6: When Decisions Get Hard

Week 7: Nate’s First Visit to the Merrimon-Wynne House

Week 8: Save the Date!

Week 9: How to Handle Late RSVP’s & A Free Guide to Creating Your Guest List